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1、Unit 4 Actions Speak Louder than WordsTEACHER: OK, class, OK . let's begin. What do we mean when we say that actions speak louder than words?STUDENT 1: Uh . . . that means we believe people's actions more than we believe their words. TEACHER: Yes, exactly right and, uh, in a sense, actions a
2、re more important than words. That's because we usually judge speakers' intentions by the nonverbal signals they send us. And that's what our subject today's all about, nonverbal communication how we communicate through our actions facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, uh,
3、body movement, and so on. And if any of you doubt the importance of these things, you might like to consider a couple of statistics I've got here in front of me. Some communication specialists estimate we spend about 75 percent of our waking hours communicating. And, more to the point, words acc
4、ount for only, mm, 10 to 30 percent of that communication the bulk's nonverbal. That's food for thought, uh? Now although people clearly understand its importance, nonverbal communication I'll call it N.V.C. for shortis actually a rather recent field of study and owes a lot to an America
5、n anthropologist named Raymond Birdwhistle spelled B-I-R-D-W-H-I-S-T-L-E. Easy name to remember, right? Birdwhistle began studying nonverbal communication in the 1950s and, um . one of his main ideas was that the meaning of nonverbal behavior depended on the context in which it was used. Uh, it depe
6、nds on the context. So, he looked at the whole context of nonverbal behavior - how and, uh, where certain types of nonverbal behavior appeared and not just one particular behavior in isolation. Facial expressions, for examplefrowns, smiles, raised eyebrows, and, uh, so onwe all use these to convey m
7、any different meanings. But those meanings are largely determined by the situations we're in and the relationships that we have with the people we're communicating with. So, the same expression can have different meanings, right? Take a smile, for example, what does it mean?. Uh, Mike?STUDEN
8、T 2: Uh . . uh, agreement, I guess. "I like you."TEACHER: OK. Yes, it could mean "I like you," but it c o ul d al so mean "I'm trying to make you feel comfortable," or maybe, uh, "I think you said something furry"Hmm? The point is, t he situation or the re
9、lationship between the people involved gives a particular meaning to the smile. All right. Now although today I want to focus on physical nonverbal communication uh, often called body language or kinesics, that's K-I-N-E-S-I-C-S- you should know that there are other types of nonverbal communicat
10、ion . G W. Porter, for example, divides nonverbal communication into four categories, which I'd like to look at just briefly. There's the Physical N.VC. I just mentioned. That includes facial expressions, tone of voice, sense of touch and smell, and body movement. Secondly, there's Aesth
11、etic N.V.C.that's A-E-S-T-H-E-T-I-C, meaning related to beauty. And Aesthetic N.V.C. takes place through creative expressions,like playing instrumental music, dancing or painting, sculpting. And we certainly know that we can communicate with people through creative expressions like these Now, ne
12、xt is Signs, which is a mechanical type of communication. Now, it includes the use of things like signal flags used at airports, the twenty-one gun salute used in the military, and police sirens used on public streets. And last is SymbolicCl.Which uses religious, status, or ego-building symbols-you
13、know, things like wearing crosses in the Christian religion or special pins to show membership in a particular club, like a fraternitSo, again, you've got physical, aesthetic, signs, and symbolic nonverbal communication. Got that? But let's go back to Porter's first type, Physical NVor b
14、ody language . Um, it's divided into two main types static features and dynamic features. Static features include distance, orientation, posture, and physical contact. Let's look at distance first. The distance a person stands from another often sends a nonverbal message. In some situations
15、it's a sign of attraction; in others it's a reflection of social status; in others it shows the intensity of the exchange. Distance has to do with personal space and what an invasion of someone's personal space signifies, what it means. Britney?STUDENT 1: Yes, what is personal space exac
16、tly? Could you explain it a bit more, please?TEACHER: Ah, well, good question. Well, it's kind of like a bubble each of us places between ourself and others an invisible border or limit. Now this affects how close we stand to others, where we sit in a room, at a meeting, and uh, so on things whi
17、ch affect how comfortable we feel. Generally speaking, the higher your status, the more space you'll have and the easier it'll be to invade other people's space. Uh, I hope that's clearer. Now, orientation's different from distance and has to do with the way we position ourselves
18、 in relation to others. For example, people cooperating are likely to sit side-by-side, while competitors are likely to sit face to face . right? And posture's different again; it concerns whether we're slouched or we're standing or sitting straight. You know: Are our legs crossed, our a
19、rms folded? That sort of tiling. These convey the level of formality or relaxation in the same situation.Then comes physical contact, and here we're talking abouttouching, holding, hugging, and so on. These convey or show message s-particularly how intimate we feel and their meaning can vary a l
20、ot between cultures. Hands touching in one culture may be an act of great intimacy, whereas in another . . . simply a sign of friendship. The fact is, though, that touching and physical intimacy can send a more direct yet subtle message than dozens of words. Be careful though: This kind of communica
21、tion can easily invade someone's personal space, and that can . . . lead, uh . . . cause mistrust, lead to problemand actually shut down the communication. So those are Porter's static features. Let's now look at his dynamic features. These are basically things like facial expressions, g
22、estures, eye contact, and uh, body movements. Facial expressions, then . . . these continually change during a conversation, and participants constantly watch and respond to each others' expressions. These expressions usually communicate the emotions and attitude of the speaker. Take eyes for ex
23、ample; they. . . . Well, let me ask you, what do you think they reveal? Y STUDENT 2: Um . happiness and sadness?STUDENT 1: Fear? Fright? STUDENT 3: Friendliness. TEACHER: Yes, some of these things are revealed in the eyes, happiness and sadness yes . . . also fright and surprise. Think about it. Thi
24、nk about how your eyes respond when you hear something surprising, or frightening, or sad, or cheerful. Now, the lower facethe mouth and jaw- also reveals happiness or surprise, especially the smile, as we've said. The upper face, eyebrows, and forehead can also reveal anger. In some communicati
25、on studies, it's been estimated that facial expressions provide 55 percent of the meaning of a message; vocal cues, such as pitch and volume, provide 38 percent; and verbal cues only 7 percent. So, a person's expressions seem to be a better indicator of his meaning than words, which play a m
26、inimal part. OK, now where are we? Oh. We're looking at Porter's dynamic features of communication. Next we come to gestures. Y)u know, one of the most important parts of gesturing, hand movements, is one of those least understood by scientists. Most are not universal, and as we all know, th
27、e same gesture can have different meanings in different countries. Here in the U.S. we make a circle with our thumb and first finger and it means "OK." In Japan, however, it means "money," and in South America it has a sexual meaning. The story goes that former President Richard
28、Nixon made a huge mistake on a trip to South America when he held up both hands using this "OK." gesture. Needless to say, the people in the audience were quite shocked! The fact is, we have to be very careful about what our bodies are saying, especially when in a different culture. Now le
29、t's move on to eye contact. Eye contact is a very powerful form of nonverbal communication. One thingabout eye contact that is generally agreed on is that someone with higher status usually maintains eye contact longer if he's talking to someone of lower status. In other words, he stares. An
30、ything else you think a direct stare indicates?STUDENT 1: Determination . uh . openness.TEACHER: Exactly, and it creates a feeling of trust. And looking downward? STUDENT 1: That shows dishonestyguilt,. uh .TEACHER: Yes, it does, but also modesty, in some cases. And eyes rolled upwards suggest tired
31、ness. I don't see any of that right now, I'm glad to say! And the last, the fourth item on Porter's list is body movement. Y know, it's interesting that a lot of the work on non-verbal communication has been done for corporations. They want to improve their employees' performance
32、. So for example, if you lean forward in an interview, this suggests you're energetic, somebody prepared to make major changes. If you hold yourself at your tallest, uh, this suggestsyou're probably a presenter, and good at selling yourself or the organization. And with side-to-side movement
33、s, if you take up a lot of space while talking by moving your arms a lot, you're seen as a good informer and listener, so you're desirable to the companyee? So to finish up, there are five things that differentiate verbal and nonverbal communication. I'd like you to note them down. First
34、, while spoken languagesdiffer from country to country, emotions are communicated in much the same nonverbal way throughout the world. Second, although we know a lot about the grammar of spoken language, we still don't know very much about the "grammar" of N.C. Third, we don't have
35、 any dictionaries for N.C. If you go to a foreign country and somebody makes a hand gesture you don't understand, there's no dictionary to help you. And fourth, we can ask for repetition or clarification of what somebody has said, but it's practically impossible to ask, "Could you r
36、epeat that smile?" or "What does that facial expression mean?" We have to understand nonverbal communication the first time around. And finally, we can hide our true feelings with spoken language, but it's more difficult with N.VC. We can't just stop ourselves from turning red
37、, or slow down our heartbeat, right? So whether we like it or not, body language can'Hialthough I'll bet there are times we all wish it could So in conclusion then, nonverbal communication is an integral part of communication. OK, now let's quickly get into groups and talk about some of
38、the differences I've just mentioned. This is what I want you to do. Just pull your chairs around.人品好的人，自带光芒，无论走到哪里，总会熠熠生辉。人活着，谁都会有烦恼，每天都有烦恼，最重要的是你不理会烦恼，烦恼自然就没有了！因此，朋友们，最好的活法，就只要记住这两句 话：烦恼天天有，不捡自然无！当你不开心的时候，想想自己还剩下多少天可以折腾，还有多少时间够你作践。你开心，这一天过了；不开心，一天也过了。想明白了，你就再也不会生气了。当 你烦恼的时候，想想人生就是减法，见一面少一面，活一天就
39、少一天，还有什么好烦恼的呢，不忘人恩，不念人过，不思人非，不计人怨。不缺谁，不少谁，对得起良心就好。当你忧伤的时候， 想想生活就是一场路过，赤条条来，赤条条去，带不来一丝尘土，带不走半片云彩。什么功名利禄，什么人情往份，啥你都带不走，想明白了，还有什么好难过的？当你不满的时候，想想和富人 比，我们活着知足就是幸福。和病人比，我们活着健康就是幸福。和死人比，我们还活着就是幸福。人这辈子想活好，心要简单，人要糊涂。当你生气的时候，想想是否有必要为不值得的人生气？ 有必要为不值得的事闹心？好好吃饭，好好睡觉，好好养老，好好花钱就可以了。你好好的，家人好好的，一切也就好好的了！当你计较的时候，想想人在世间走，本是一场空，何必处处计较