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1、The different culture between Chinese and foreignerWith China entry the WTO and will hold the Olympic Games in 2008, the relationship between China and Western in politics, economy, culture will become more and more close. It is undoubtedly that the etiquette will play an important role in this proc
2、ess. To the definition of etiquette, China and Western have a different understanding. As Chinese thinks that the etiquette is the common behavior standards that all the members must obey, and its purpose is to keep the normal living order of the society. In ancient China, a famous philosopher think
3、s that etiquette is a principal to deal with the relationship between man and supernatural beings, man and ghosts, man and men. There are also many words about etiquette in English. For example, courtesy which means courteous behavior, good manners; protocol which means system of rules governing for
4、mal occasion, e .g, meetings, between governments, diplomats, etc. And these words are all from the same French word etiquette. Of course, more spread and more profound cultural comment of the western etiquette is from the Classical Period, i.e., old Athens and Roma culture. Today, etiquette become
5、the reflection and manifestation of one countrys politics, economy, culture in peoples social contact. And it include the principal and moral that people should obey in daily life. Etiquette formed in the process of the deposition of culture and social contact. So every nation have their own etiquet
6、te standard which created with the spirit of this their nation. Because of this formed the cultural difference between different nations. As languages is the carrier of the human culture. This difference must reflect in the language of different nations. So in the following, we will take china, Brit
7、ish and America as the representation of Western, to look at some cultural difference in etiquette, and then analyze the reasons. Furthermore, we will discuss how to learn western culture. 一.Cultural differences on politeness between western and Chinese can be found in many aspects of daily communic
8、ation, including addressing, greeting and parting,compliments, apologies, thanks, etc. In the following, we will look at some cultural different between China and western. 1.Greeting and PartingWhen people meet acquaintances or friends, people usually greet each other. The purpose of greeting is to
9、establish or maintain social contact. So formulaic expressions are often used, but such formulaic expressions often causes conflict because of the great cultural differences between Chinese and native Englishspeakers. In English, people often employ the following expressions to greet each other “Goo
10、d morning/evening/afternoon. “Fine day, isnt it? ”How is everything going?” Have you eaten yet?” What are you going to do?” Where have you been?”etc. Westerners treat them as real question. While in Chinese, we alwayssay “你吃了吗？”“你上哪里去？”“你干什么去？”to show our consideration. Parting may be divided into t
11、wo steps. Before the final prating, there is usual a leave-taking. Western and Chinese cultures have diverse ways to deal with leave-takings. Firstly, in English society, during the closing phase of an encounter, from ”I” perspective, reasons for terminating the encounter are presented in mitigatory
12、 comments. Typical comments are associated with expressions of apology,such as “I” am afraid I must be off, I have to relieve the baby-sitter” etc.Western people believe that to be willing to visit and converse with someone isto have respect for him.; to terminate the visiting is not of ones own fre
13、e will, but because of some other arrangements, therefore they always try to make their leaving sound reluctant by finding some reasons and apologize for it to make the leaving acceptable for both parties. English speakers often signal severaltimes before leaving. “Well, its been nice to see you aga
14、in. I do enjoy our talk and the lovely dinner, but I must be going soon”. Thank you very much for asking me over. I hope well be able to get together again before long” Consolidation in a wider range of common acquaintances also occurs, in expressions such as “Say hello to Jack for me” or “Remember
15、me to John”. In Chinese society, during the closing phase of and encounter, usually, from a “you ”perspective, reasons for ending the encounter are set forth in mitigatory expressions. Such expressions include“你挺忙的，我就不多打扰了。”“你一定累了，早点休息吧，我要告辞了。”, etc. With these words, they may stand up from their se
16、ats. Chineseleave-taking is very short and quick. Western people think it so abrupt that they have not prepare for it. While moving to the door, Chinese employ expressionsof apology like“对不起没，打扰了。”“对不起，占用你不少时间。”It should be noted that these expressions employed by Chinese guests to show concern for
17、theirhosts can only be appropriate for business visits in the English environment2.AddressingBoth western and Chinese people have two kinds of personal names-a surname anda given name. But the order and the use of these names in the two languages aresomewhat different. In Chinese, the surname comes
18、first and then the given name. And people like add“小”before their family name. Such as“小王”、“小郑”、“小李”、“小徐”and so on. While westerners names are written and spoken withthe given name first and the family name last. So John Smiths family name is Smith, not John. In a formal setting, address men as Mist
19、er (abbreviated as Mr.), married women as Misses (abbreviated as Mrs.), and unmarried women as Miss (abbreviated as Ms.). These days many women prefer to be addressed usingthe abbreviations Ms. or M., pronounced miz. If the person has an M.D. orPh.D., they will often be addressed as Doctor (abbrevia
20、ted as Dr.). Facultyare addressed as Professor (abbreviated as Prof.).In an informal situation,westerners will introduce each other by first name, without titles, and occasionally by just the last name. If you are introduced to somebody by first name, you can address him or her by first name the nex
21、t time you meet. The only exception would be for someone who holds an important position, such as the university president or provost. Unless they tell you otherwise, faculty should be addressedusing their title and last name (e.g., Professor Smith). When in doubt, use the formal manner of address,
22、since it is better to err on the side of formality.It is also appropriate to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Children should always address adults in the formal fashion, using their title and last name. Another difference is about the form of addressing. From the viewpoint of sociolinguistics,
23、forms of addressing can serve as an indication of the relationship of power and solidarity in the society. In calling their superiors or elders, theChinese are accustomed to the nonreciprocal or asymmetrical addressing, in other words. They use “title +surname” to address their superior or elders ra
24、ther than call them surnames, while the superior or elders call the addressers their names. The Chinese tend to abide by the polite principle of depreciating oneselfand respecting others to show appropriate respects towards the persons being addressed, otherwise, the addresser may be considered as i
25、ll mannered, ill educated or rude. But in English speaking countries, people have a tendency to follow the reciprocal or symmetrical addressing. Although they are different in age and status, they can call the other directly, namely, their names, even first names except when they call the doctors, n
26、ot arousing offence between them, but demonstrating the sense of intimacy and the conception of” Everyone is created equal”. Chinese people feel unnatural addressing a westerner by his given name, feeling that it indicates too close a relationship, and westerners, on the other hand,may feel that if
27、a Chinese insists on using his surname, it indicates an unwillingness to be friendly and maintains a gap between them. So the use of forms like” Miss Mary” or “Mr. Smith ” may be a Chinese forms of compromise. With Miss Mary, the use of the given name indicates friendliness, but the addition of the
28、title indicates the respect they feel they ought to show. And with Smith, the lack of a title indicates friendliness, but the use of the surname prevents if sounding too intimate. However, both addressing used by the Chinese sound very strange and uncomfortable to the westerner. 3.Compliments and Re
29、sponseTo compliment is to praise the addressees virtues, ability, behavior, appearance, clothing, personality and belongs. Appropriate compliments can serve as effective supplementary means in inter-personal communication. Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliment. An weste
30、rn hostess, if she is complimented for her cooking skill, is likely to say,” Oh, I am so glad that you liked it. I cook it especially for you.” Not so is a Chinese hostess, who will instead apologize for giving you “Nothing”. They will say“随便作几个菜，不好吃。”If translate this into English“I just made some
31、dishes casually and they are not very tasty. Perhaps the foreigner will think why you invite me to you family and have the untasty food. You arent respect me. The English-speaking peopleare more active to praise others and to be praise than Chinese people. For example, the Americans are “straight fo
32、rwardness”, the Chinese take pride in “modesty”. That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an Americans table, for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer and the Americans hosts take ”no ” to mean “no ”, whether it is the first, second or third time. Still bigge
33、r differences exist in peoples attitude towards compliments, i.e., in the response to compliments. Chinese are tend to efface themselves in words or refuse it, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments. So many westerners simply feel puzzled or even upset when their Chinese friends ref
34、used their compliments. The Chinese people are not intending to be modest with the sacrifice of friendship in so doing, but it is ratherdue to the traditional Chinese philosophy, that of modesty. The Chinese people regard modesty as a most valuable virtue, so they seldom agree to the complimenton th
35、eir own.4.Apologies and ResponsesIf wrong things are done, there must be apologies .As to how to offer apologies,both western and Chinese people may “I am sorry.”,”I apologize for”. Etc. But Chinese would like to apologize for the crowded state of their dwellings and for small numbers of dishes, alt
36、hough the room is big enough and there are many dishes. Chinese stay these to express self-depreciation only out of courtesy, not having other implication. But the westerners would wonder, since the room is so large and there are so many dishes, why do they say so. May be they do notwelcome our visi
37、t, they dont like us to eat more. When Chinese contact with westerners, if they do not know these differences, if will lead to misunderstanding. The ways to respond to apologies are different, too.A: Oh, Im sorry. I forget it.B1: It doesnt matter.B2: Thats all right.B2 is westerners. B1 is a Chinese
38、 person. “It doesnt matter” is a translation of “没关系”from Chinese, which is a common pattern in Chinese to respond to apologies. If a Chinese uses this to respond to apologies, westerners will thinkthat he is a sharp person, who simply cannot forgive a very little wrong thing.5. Thanks and Responses
39、“Thank you” is widely used in English to show gratitude in such cases as beinginvited, helped, given a gift, etc. Cultural differences exist between Chinese and western in how to express thanks and responses. In fact, “Thank you” is uttered in English for more than acknowledging favor or gratitude,
40、and it is oftena means to show politeness. On many occasions, the English use this utterance while the Chinese may say “有劳您了。”or do not say a word at all but just smile or nod. As a matter of fact, “Thank you ” is used more widely by westerners than Chinese use“谢谢”, for minor favors like borrowing p
41、encil , asking directions, requesting someone to pass on a message , receiving a telephone, etc. “Thank you” not only shows politeness but also carries a persons grateful feeling for those who offer help. Without using expressions of gratitude, misunderstandings may arise because the help seems to b
42、e taken for granted and is mot appreciated, For westerners, each person is an equal individual, whether he is a family member of not. In Chinese, “谢谢”is not frequently used between intimate friends and family members because it may imply a certain distance between the addresser and the addressee. Na
43、tive speakers may respond to “Thank you ” by saying: You are welcome /Its a /my pleasure/ Not at all/ Dont mention it/Thats all right. While Chinese people may say:“这是我应该做的”， which may convey to westerners the message that the Chinese did not really want to do it, or that he/she did it only because
44、it wall his/her duty. This message is quite different from what the Chinese speaker intended to express. 6. Asking Personal AffairsPeople from China do not regard it as asking personal affairs when they ask others name、year、marital status、wages、personal life、belief and political points. It is regard
45、 as concerns. While the westerns will think you 侵犯their right of privacy. when we talk to the westerns, we must avoid asking some questions like this:“How old are you?”、“Are you married？”、“How many children do you have？”、“How much do you make？”、“Whats your weight?”、“Do you go to the church？”7.Invita
46、tion and Saying Good-Bye In the culture of British and America, it is very important to consult a time before you invite somebody to attend a banquet or take part in social activities. Esp. in America, invite somebody means you are borrow times of others. So they respect time very much. While in Chi
47、na, people are prefer to an uninvited guest. And otherwise, You will be thought unfriendly if you cannot receive an uninvitedguest very well. 8.关切语 In China, we always say“你辛苦了！”、“你一定累了吧！”to show our consideration when somebody from far place. While the westerners do it in a different way. They will
48、 say How is your trip? You must be very interesting. These sentencesare all express in psychological aspect. Concerning the old people is the virtue of human race. But different cultures have different styles. In China, people will say“您年纪大了，你坐吧！”when they 让座to a old man. But this is regardedas tabo
49、o.二.Different cultural factors may result in cultural differences, and consequently,the acknowledgment of the factors that affect the cultural differences will facilitate the understanding of such differences, part of which will vie discuss inthe followings. Since it is impossible to cover all of the factors in this thesis, the factors discus