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1、第四讲 如何写出完美片段,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,一、衔接自然过渡巧妙 有的学生在作文中使用过多简单句，造成简单句堆砌；有 的写复杂句时，动辄用so, and, then, but, or, however, yet 等，非但达不到丰富表达方式的目的，反而使句子结构松 散、呆板。为了避免这种现象，可以通过使用连接词，尤 其是一些表示从属关系的连接词，如who, which, that, because, since, although, after, as, before, when, whenever, if, unless, as if等，不仅能够丰富句型，而且还能够把思想 表达得更清楚
2、，意义更连贯。,句式升级 The Mississippi River is one of the longest rivers in the world, and in spring time it often overflows its banks, and the lives of many people are endangered. The Mississippi River, which is one of the longest rivers in the world, often overflows its banks in spring time, endangering th
3、e lives of many people. 点睛 第一句中用and把三个分句一贯到底；第二句中使用了关系代词which引导的非限制性定语从句，同时使用了现在分词短语作结果状语，语义更连贯，语言更流畅，句式更丰富。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,二、长短交叉张弛有度 在写作中应避免使用相同长度的相同句型，而应注意句式 的变化，如长短句结合，简单句、并列句与复合句共用， 还可使用省略句等。长句和短句各有其优点和缺点。长句， 因为使用的定语、状语较多，限制了概念的外延，增大了 概念的内涵，所以比较精确、严密，但使用起来不够活泼 简便。短句，由于词数少，直截了当，一般比较简洁
4、、明 快、有力，但不利于表达复杂的语义内容。在具体语言活 动中，最好长短句交替使用。这既体现了节奏上的要求， 也是意义上的需要。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,句式升级 We can imagine the beautiful surroundings. There are many trees along the streets. There is a clean river in the city. There are many fishes in the river. Just imagine the beautiful surroundings when we make our citie
5、s greener. Green trees line the streets. A clean river winds through the city, in which there are a lot of fishes. 点睛 第一段中的句子都是简单句，句型结构单一；第二段中的文字，有长句，也有短句，一长一短，抑扬顿挫的节奏感就出来了；句型结构变化也很大，使文章流畅自然，生动活泼。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,三、意义表达灵活变通 灵活表达就是对同一内容的句子采用不同的表达方法。 在英语表达中，有时会碰到一些句子，以某一种形式难 以表情达意，这时想办法改用其他词语或句子形式来表 达同一意
6、思。 使用与众不同的表达方式，特别是提倡打破汉语句子结 构的束缚而重组的句子更受欢迎。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,12012年北京发生洪灾，给当地人们造成极大损失。 句式升级 There were heavy floods in Beijing in 2012, causing great damage to the local people. Heavy floods hit/struck Beijing in 2012, causing great damage to the local people. 点睛 第一句使用了there be结构，这是对的，但是第二句却摒弃了常见句式，另辟蹊径
7、而使用了“主语谓语宾语”结构，且使用了hit/strike这样的词汇，显得生动形象，颇具新意。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,2你8月15日的来信我今天早上收到了，在信中，你提到如何 扩大词汇量的问题。 I received your letter written on August 15th this morning, in which you had mentioned how to enrich vocabulary. Your letter of August 15th reached/got to me this morning, in which you had mentioned h
8、ow to enrich vocabulary. 点睛 第一句用过去分词短语作定语，表达简洁，完全可以称之为一个高级句；但是第二句直接用事物名词作主语，表达既简洁又生动。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,四、段落展开设计巧妙 1如何写好开头句 为了把文章写得生动活泼，除了用主语开头外，还可以用句子的其他成分开头。 Luckily, we were asked to stay in the company to work. 幸运地是，我们被请求留在公司工作。(用副词开头) Dark and empty, the house looked very different from the way I re
9、membered it.(用形容词短语作状语开头) 这间屋子黑暗、空旷，和我记忆中的看起来完全不同。 By taking exercise, we can always stay healthy.(用介词短语开头) 通过做运动，我们能够始终保持健康。,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,2如何写好主题句 主题句是一篇文章要表达的中心意思。主题句的好坏直接关系到段落或者全文的成功与否。 (1)第一种，段首主题句。在英语中，主题句一般位于段首，这 符合英国人的思维特点。开门见山地提出问题，后面的扩展句围绕主题句加以说明、支持、补充和解释。 Summer vacation is coming. We have
10、 different plans for it. Some of my classmates are going to visit some places of interest. Some are going to do more reading.,(2)第二种，段中主题句。有时为了使段落多样化，主题句也 可居于段中。位于段中的主题句起承上启下的作用，这类主题句多起转折作用，一般由but, however, yet, anyhow等词连接，用于引起下文。 In 2015 you will sleep later because your job will start later in the
11、 morning. This is just one of the many ways that will make life in 2015 different from what it is today. Too many machines will do most of your daily work for you. Also, you will travel to work on a moving sidewalk.,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,(3)第三种，段尾主题句。主题句位于段尾时便于总结全段的内 容，给读者以深刻的印象。 Give students a
12、 chance to grow. Do you mold them from one of a thousand patterns? Let them seek knowledge, but do not find it for them. Let them learn patience; do not force it on them. Let them take their own time to grow; do not set rigid time schedules. Most of all, do not push them against a stone wall, crushi
13、ng them with knowledge gained from the experience of others. Experience cannot be taught; it must come slowly through personal search.,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,3如何写好结尾句 文章结尾句的作用是概括全文内容，进一步强调或肯定要表达的中心思想，使文章意义表达得更加深刻。文章结尾的形式也是多种多样的，常见的有以下几种： (1)画龙点睛，深化主题。在文章的结尾，把含义较深的话放在 末尾，以点明主题，深化主题，起到画龙点睛的效果。如 “I Cannot Forget
14、 Her”的结尾： I was sad over her passing away, but I knew she would not have had any regrets at having given her life for the benefit of the people.,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,(2)重复主题句。结尾回到文章开头阐明的中心思想或主题句 上，达到强调的效果。如“My Hometown”的结尾： My hometown is becoming more and more beautiful. I love my hometown very much. (3)自然
15、结尾。随着文章的结束，文章自然而然地结尾。如 “Fishing”(钓鱼)的结尾： Tired from fishing, we lay down on the river bank, bathing in the sun. We returned home very late.,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,.基础巩固(按要求改写片段) 片段一、We can enjoy a meaningful and fulfilled life by pursuing our dreams. Money can buy a comfortable life. Without dreams, even a mi
16、llionaire would find his life boring. (only介词短语放于句首倒装)enjoy a meaningful and fulfilled life. Money can buy a comfortable life, (转折连词) without dreams, even a millionaire would find his life boring.,Only by pursuing our dreams can we,but,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,片段二、Our life is full of joys and sorrows. We need p
17、eople to share with them. We are faced with difficulties. We need friends to give us comfort and help.A saying goes that a friend in need is a friend indeed.Friendship can help us through ups and downs of life. Friendship would be in my list as well. Our life is full of joys and sorrows, _ _ (定语从句)
18、(分词短语), we need friends to give us comfort and help. (as引导的定语从句), a friend in need is a friend indeed. Friendship can help us through ups and downs of life, _ (定语从句),which we need people to share with,Faced with difficulties,Just as a saying goes,which would be in my list as well,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,片段三、I
19、have been working hard for so many years. I deserve to go to a good university. Being admitted to a famous university can help me live up to my parents expectations and bring me a bright future. (分词短语), I deserve to go to a good university, (从属连词) being admitted to a famous university can help me li
20、ve up to my parents expectations and bring me a bright future.,Having working hard for so many years,because,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,.能力提升(先看下列题目，然后按要求完成相关任务) 如果有一场神奇的“价值拍卖会”，你可以拍下自己最想要的东西，你会为什么而举牌？请在以下的竞拍内容中，选出你最想得到的三样东西，并阐明你选择的理由。 竞拍内容：爱心、梦想、名牌大学录取通知书、聪明、快乐、诚信、自由、权利、友情、金钱等。(以下答案不唯一；只要合理即可),第四讲 如何写出完美片段,1写出这篇
21、小短文的开头句，点明自己的观点 _ _ _ 2根据提示，写出这篇小短文的三个主题句 (1)论述竞拍梦想的主题句：_ _,Different people may bid for different things. As for me, I want dream, friendship and an admission notice to a famous university most.,Dreams would be on the top of my list.,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,(2)论述竞拍友谊的主题句：_ _ (3)论述竞拍名牌大学录取通知书的主题句：_ _ 3写出这篇小短文的
22、结尾句(不同的人有不同的观点，询问对 方的观点是什么) _ _,A person without friends can never be happy.,To go to a good university is my wildest dream.,Different people have different opinions, and what about yours?,第四讲 如何写出完美片段,4结合以上三项内容和基础巩固中的句子完成该篇小短文 参考范文： _ _ _ _ _ _ _,Different people may bid for different things. As fo
23、r me, I want dream, friendship and an admission notice to a famous university most. Dreams would be on the top of my list. Only by pursuing our dreams can we enjoy a meaningful and fulfilled life. Money can buy a comfortable life, but without dreams, even a millionaire would find his life boring.,第四
24、讲 如何写出完美片段,A person without friends can never be happy.Our life is full of joys and sorrows, which we need people to share with.Faced with difficulties, we need friends to give us comfort and help. Just as a saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed.Friendship can help us through ups and down
25、s of life, which would be in my list as well. To go to a good university is my wildest dream. Having working hard for so many years, I deserve to go to a good university, because being admitted to a famous university can help me live up to my parents expectations and bring me a bright future.,_ _ _ _,