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1、ted演讲 004 why thinking youre ugly is bad for you 0:11 This is my niece, Stella. Shes just turned one and started to walk. And shes walking in that really cool way that one-year-olds do, a kind of teetering, my-bodys-moving- too-fast-for-my-legs kind of way. It is absolutely gorgeous. And one of her
2、favorite things to do at the moment is to stare at herself in the mirror. She absolutely loves her reflection. She giggles and squeals, and gives herself these big, wet kisses. It is beautiful. Apparently, all of her friends do this and my mom tells me that I used to do this, and it got me thinking:
3、 When did I stop doing this? When is it suddenly not okay to love the way that we look? Because apparently we dont. 1:02 Ten thousand people every month google, Am I ugly? This is Faye. Faye is 13 and she lives in Denver. And like any teenager, she just wants to be liked and to fit in. Its Sunday ni
4、ght. Shes getting ready for the week ahead at school. And shes slightly dreading it, and shes a bit confused because despite her mom telling her all the time that shes beautiful, every day at school, someone tells her that shes ugly. Because of the difference between what her mom tells her and what
5、her friends at school, or her peers at school are telling her, she doesnt know who to believe. So, she takes a video of herself. She posts it to YouTube and she asks people to please leave a comment: Am I pretty or am I ugly? Well, so far, Faye has received over 13,000 comments. Some of them are so
6、nasty, they dont bear thinking about. This is an average, healthy-looking teenage girl receiving this feedback at one of the most emotionally vulnerable times in her life. Thousands of people are posting videos like this, mostly teenage girls, reaching out in this way. But whats leading them to do t
7、his? 2:19 Well, todays teenagers are rarely alone. Theyre under pressure to be online and available at all times, talking, messaging, liking, commenting, sharing, posting it never ends. Never before have we been so connected, so continuously, so instantaneously, so young. And as one mom told me, its
8、 like theres a party in their bedroom every night. Theres simply no privacy. And the social pressures that go along with that are relentless. This always-on environment is training our kids to value themselves based on the number of likes they get and the types of comments that they receive. Theres
9、no separation between online and offline life. Whats real or what isnt is really hard to tell the difference between. And its also really hard to tell the difference between whats authentic and whats digitally manipulated. Whats a highlight in someones life versus whats normal in the context of ever
10、yday. 3:26 And where are they looking to for inspiration? Well, you can see the kinds of images that are covering the newsfeeds of girls today. Size zero models still dominate our catwalks. Airbrushing is now routine. And trends like #thinspiration, #thighgap, #bikinibridge and #proana. For those wh
11、o dont know, #proana means pro-anorexia. These trends are teamed with the stereotyping and flagrant objectification of women in todays popular culture. It is not hard to see what girls are benchmarking themselves against. But boys are not immune to this either. Aspiring to the chiseled jaw lines and
12、 ripped six packs of superhero-like sports stars and playboy music artists. 4:12 But, whats the problem with all of this? Well, surely we want our kids to grow up as healthy, well balanced individuals. But in an image-obsessed culture, we are training our kids to spend more time and mental effort on
13、 their appearance at the expense of all of the other aspects of their identities. So, things like their relationships, the development of their physical abilities, and their studies and so on begin to suffer. Six out of 10 girls are now choosing not to do something because they dont think they look
14、good enough. These are not trivial activities. These are fundamental activities to their development as humans and as contributors to society and to the workforce. Thirty-one percent, nearly one in three teenagers, are withdrawing from classroom debate. Theyre failing to engage in classroom debate b
15、ecause they dont want to draw attention to the way that they look. One in five are not showing up to class at all on days when they dont feel good about it. And when it comes to exams, if you dont think you look good enough, specifically if you dont think you are thin enough, you will score a lower
16、grade point average than your peers who are not concerned with this. And this is consistent across Finland, the U.S. and China, and is true regardless of how much you actually weigh. So to be super clear, were talking about the way you think you look, not how you actually look. Low body confidence i
17、s undermining academic achievement. 5:55 But its also damaging health. Teenagers with low body confidence do less physical activity, eat less fruits and vegetables, partake in more unhealthy weight control practices that can lead to eating disorders. They have lower self-esteem. Theyre more easily i
18、nfluenced by people around them and theyre at greater risk of depression. And we think its for all of these reasons that they take more risks with things like alcohol and drug use; crash dieting; cosmetic surgery; unprotected, earlier sex; and self-harm. The pursuit of the perfect body is putting pr
19、essure on our healthcare systems and costing our governments billions of dollars every year. 6:40 And we dont grow out of it. Women who think theyre overweight again, regardless of whether they are or are not have higher rates of absenteeism. Seventeen percent of women would not show up to a job int
20、erview on a day when they werent feeling confident about the way that they look. 7:01 Have a think about what this is doing to our economy. If we could overcome this, what that opportunity looks like. Unlocking this potential is in the interest of every single one of us. 7:15 But how do we do that?
21、Well, talking, on its own, only gets you so far. Its not enough by itself. If you actually want to make a difference, you have to do something. And weve learned there are three key ways: The first is we have to educate for body confidence. We have to help our teenagers develop strategies to overcome
22、 image-related pressures and build their self-esteem. Now, the good news is that there are many programs out there available to do this. The bad news is that most of them dont work. I was shocked to learn that many well-meaning programs are inadvertently actually making the situation worse. So we ne
23、ed to make damn sure that the programs that our kids are receiving are not only having a positive impact, but having a lasting impact as well. 8:09 And the research shows that the best programs address six key areas: The first is the influence of family, friends and relationships. The second is medi
24、a and celebrity culture, then how to handle teasing and bullying, the way we compete and compare with one another based on looks, talking about appearance some people call this body talk or fat talk and finally, the foundations of respecting and looking after yourself. These six things are crucial s
25、tarting points for anyone serious about delivering body-confidence education that works. An education is critical, but tackling this problem is going to require each and everyone of us to step up and be better role models for the women and girls in our own lives. Challenging the status quo of how wo
26、men are seen and talked about in our own circles. 9:02 It is not okay that we judge the contribution of our politicians by their haircuts or the size of their breasts, or to infer that the determination or the success of an Olympian is down to her not being a looker. We need to start judging people
27、by what they do, not what they look like. 9:23 We can all start by taking responsibility for the types of pictures and comments that we post on our own social networks. We can compliment people based on their effort and their actions and not on their appearance. 9:39 And let me ask you, when was the
28、 last time that you kissed a mirror? Ultimately, we need to work together as communities, as governments and as businesses to really change this culture of ours so that our kids grow up valuing their whole selves, valuing individuality, diversity, inclusion. We need to put the people that are making
29、 a real difference on our pedestals, making a difference in the real world. Giving them the airtime, because only then will we create a different world. A world where our kids are free to become the best versions of themselves, where the way they think they look never holds them back from being who
30、they are or achieving what they want in life. 10:2 Think about what this might mean for someone in your life. Who have you got in mind? Is it your wife? Your sister? Your daughter? Your niece? Your friend? It could just be the woman a couple of seats away from you today. What would it mean for her i
31、f she were freed from that voice of her inner critic, nagging her to have longer legs, thinner thighs, smaller stomach, shorter feet? What could it mean for her if we overcame this and unlocked her potential in that way? 11:0 Right now, our cultures obsession with image is holding us all back. But l
32、ets show our kids the truth. Lets show them that the way you look is just one part of your identity and that the truth is we love them for who they are and what they do and how they make us feel. Lets build self-esteem into our school curriculums. Lets each and every one of us change the way we talk and compare ourselves to other people. And lets work together as communities, from grassroots to governments, so that the happy little one-year-olds of today become the confident changemakers of tomorrow. Lets do this.(Applause)