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1、Habits of Highly Emotionally Intelligent PeopleWhen emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had a
2、lways assumed was the sole source of successIQ. Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack.How much of an impact does emotional intelligence (EQ) have on your professional success? The short answer is: a lo
3、t! Its a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result. Of all the people weve studied at work, weve found that 90% of top performers have high EQs. You can be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim.Emotional intelligence is the “someth
4、ing” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social c
5、ompetence.Personal competencecomprises your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.Self-Awarenessis your ab
6、ility to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.Self-Managementis your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.Social competenceis made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social compe
7、tence is your ability to understand other peoples moods, behavior, and motives in order to respond effectively and improve the quality of your relationships.Social Awarenessis your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.Relationship Managemen
8、tis your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the others emotions to manage interactions successfully.Despite the significance of emotional intelligence, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know which behaviors you should emulate. So Ive analyzed the data from the million-plus
9、peopleTalentSmarthas tested in order to identify the habits that set high-EQ people apart.Theyre relentlessly positive.Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time, and youll see that its just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental dis
10、asters. Its easy to think the world is headed downhill fast. And who knows? Maybe it is. But emotionally intelligent people dont worry about that because they dont get caught up in things they cant control. They focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their powerthe
11、ir attention and their effort. Numerous studies have shown that optimists are physically and psychologically healthier than pessimists. They also perform better at work. Remind yourself of this the next time a negative train of thought takes hold of you.They have a robust emotional vocabulary.All pe
12、ople experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People wit
13、h high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “a
14、nxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.Theyre assertive.People with high EQs balance good manners, empathy, and kindness with the ability to assert themselves and establish boundaries.
15、 This tactful combination is ideal for handling conflict. When most people are crossed, they default to passive or aggressive behavior. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and assertive by steering themselves away from unfiltered emotional reactions. This enables them to neutralize diffic
16、ult and toxic people without creating enemies.Theyre curious about other people.It doesnt matter if theyre introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. T
17、he more you care about other people and what theyre going through, the more curiosity youre going to have about them.Theyforgive, but they dontforget.Emotionally intelligent people live by the motto “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” They forgive in order to prevent a grudge,
18、but they never forget. The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding on to that stress can have devastating health consequences, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. However, offering forgiveness doesnt mean theyll g
19、ive a wrongdoer another chance. Emotionally intelligent people will not be bogged down by mistreatment from others, so they quickly let things go and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.They wont let anyone limit their joy.When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived
20、from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that theyve done, they wont let anyones opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While its impossible to turn off your reactions to what o
21、thers think of you, you dont have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take peoples opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing i
22、s certainyoure never as good or bad as they say you are.They make things fun.Emotionally intelligent people know exactly what makes them happy, and they constantly work to bring this happiness into everything they do. They turn monotonous work into games, go the extra mile to make people they care a
23、bout happy, and take breaks to enjoy the things they love no matter how busy they are. They know that injecting this fun into their lives fights off stress and builds lasting resilience.They are difficult to offend.If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, its difficult for someone to say or do some
24、thing that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.They quash negative self-talk.A big step in developing emotional intelligence involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts
25、, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just thatthoughts, not facts. You can stop the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says by writing them down. Once youve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and cl
26、ear-headed in evaluating their veracity. You can bet that your statements arent true any time you use words such as “never,” “worst,” and “ever.” If your statements still look like facts once theyre on paper, take them to a friend and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will surely come
27、 out.Bringing It All TogetherUnlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, your brain builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. Before long, you will begin responding to your surroundings with emotional
28、 intelligence without even having to think about it. And as your brain reinforces the use of new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors will die off.Which strategies are your favorites? Please share in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do f
29、rom me.ABOUT THE AUTHOR:Dr. Travis Bradberryis the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book,Emotional Intelligence 2.0,and the cofounder ofTalentSmart, the worlds leading provider ofemotional intelligence testsandtraining, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling boo
30、ks have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by,Newsweek, TIME, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, andThe Harvard Business Review.How To
31、Get The Job You Really WantA sobering but true fact we dont talk about enough is the fact that most people dont like their jobs. Various surveys put the percentage of unhappy working people somewhere between seventy and eighty percent.Those are high numbers! That means that when youre driving in tra
32、ffic, seventy to eighty percent of the people driving around you are people who dont like their work. No wonder road rage is such a problem!It means that seventy to eighty percent of the people you encounter at the grocery store, your kids school and the gym are unhappy at work.How can that rampant
33、discontent be good for individual working people, their families or their communities? How can it be good for employers, or their customers and shareholders?The widespread dissatisfaction of working people isnt good for anybody. Its a public health issue and a national shame. It isnt difficult to bu
34、ild a great culture. It isnt hard to make a workplace interesting and fun and human.The silver lining is that more and more employers are realizing that their culture is the most significant factor in their business success. They are dropping pointless ancient practices like annual performance revie
35、ws and stack-ranking abominations.They are loosening their traditional rules and policies in recognition of the fact that everyone they employ is human and has human needs, as well as entanglements and obligations outside of work.There are more and more Human Workplaces every day. If you are one of
36、those seventy to eighty percent of people who are not happy at work right now, why not use this summer to get a job you love, rather than one you merely tolerate?Anyone could understand why you might hesitate to launch a job search if you thought that you had to get your next job by filling out tedi
37、ous and insulting online job applications.Anybody would stay in a meh job rather than go through that hassle! The good news is that you dont have to choose between a job you dont like and the dreadfulBlack Holeautomated recruiting process.There is a better way to get a job now!You can reach your hir
38、ing manager at any target firm directly.Heres how to find your hiring managers nameusing LinkedIn.Before you can reach out to your hiring manager with aPain Letterand yourHuman-Voiced Resume(which youll print out on paper, staple together and slide into an envelope for mailing straight to your hirin
39、g managers desk) youll need to do one important thing:Youll need to brand yourself for the jobs you want!Your resume is a branding document. It doesnt have to sound robotic and boring. It can sound like a human being wrote it and lived it. It can sound like you! In yourHuman-Voiced Resume, youll wri
40、te about yourself and your career goals.You get to choose which jobs to pursue next. You dont have to restrict yourself to applying for jobs just like your current or most recent job.You can branch out. As soon as you see the common themes between the jobs youve already done and any job you are inte
41、rested in doing next (even if its in a different industry or function) youll be able to write about those common elements.Youll be able to brand yourself for the jobs you want most - not just any jobs, or jobs identical to the one you already have, and hate!Its a new day in the talent marketplace. P
42、eople are zipping around and changing career paths, industries and functions everywhere you look. You are not limited to a small set of possible next jobs.You can spread a much wider net than that - but not until you decide what you want to do next, and give yourself permission to step out of your t
43、raditional career box. Thats the first and most important step in your job search.The minute you decide in your heart and mind that you are qualified for a job youve never done before (and I can assure you that you are!) your mojo will grow.Hiring managers will see your qualifications the instant you see them yourself. You are mightier than you know, but you have to get that message before anyone else will! 9 / 9 E- 2016-6-15