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1、personal statement 留学文书写作培训教材by Dr. Marilyn Winkleby, Founder, SMYSP原文地址： ml本文为斯坦福大学SMYSP工程对如何写作Essay的建议，具体详细阐述了 应该注意的方方面面的咨询题What is the purpose of your college essay? 目的：突出特色Colleges may ask for a general essay or give you specific questions to answer. The suggestions below apply to either.Each co
2、llege has a team of trained readers, several of whom will us ually read and score your essay independently. Readers are often professio nal staff from the college, but may also include faculty members, high sc hool teachers, and counselors. These readers are not testing you on writin g ability or En
3、glish skills. They simply want to learn more about you on a personal level. However, a well-written essay will impress the reader s o invest time in editing, and checking your grammar and spelling.What makes a good essay? 好文章什么样？表达你的生活经历，爱好，个 性等。Your essay should show the depth of your interests and
4、 accomplishm ents, and quality of your character. No matter what experiences you choos e to write about, you should elaborate on the insights that you gained fro m the experiences and on the ways the experiences influenced your life. Readers want to learn how experiences changed your attitudes or be
5、liefs, influenced your academics or extracurricular activities, or clarified your ed ucational goals.Below are some general suggestions as well as specific suggestions t hat may help you write an essay that makes you stand out as a great ap plicant.General suggestions:1. Check the rules. 阅读写作要求，最常见的
6、错误是忽略了要求和格 式。Read the instructions for the essay in the college application packet. One of the most common mistakes is to miss requirements about the leng th or formatting of the essay. Remember, almost all colleges want you to send your essay with your completed application form.2. Start early and
7、revise often. 早动手，多修改。You may want to begin by writing down many thoughts and then sel ecting the most important. Or, you may prefer to make an outline and ex pand it according to the length requirements. Be prepared to write at leas t 10 drafts and to have several people read drafts at different st
8、ages in y our writing. These people should know you on a personal level.Once you have read and revised your essay several times, put it awa y for a week or so. (If you started early, you shouldnt be too close to t he deadline yet!) After the rest period, think again about what you want the admission
9、s committee to know about you. Write this down, then take out your essay and read it again. Does it convey what you want to say? If not, you may have to start all over again or cut out large parts of yo ur first draft. This is okay-writing requires flexibility, and sometimes you will have to elimina
10、te things that you liked because they dont relate to your overall message.3. Be clear and focused. 清晰，集中。应该是一个连贯的故事。4. Be distinctive. 有特色的东西Write an essay that distinguishes you from other applicants. Avoid wr iting sentencesthat another applicant could write. Any applicant could wri te, I have alw
11、ays wanted to go to college to further my education, or I have always wanted to be a doctor. The following sentence is more pe rsonal and gives insight into an applicant 抯 background: I first became i nterested in becoming a doctor when Daniel, my little brother, was hospit alized for an infected fo
12、ot after he got caught on a barbed wire fence wh ile being chased by a bull.5. Be specific. 具体This will help the reader remember you. Suppose you are writing ab out a patient you met during your volunteer work at an inner city hospita l. Rather than writing, One patient made a lasting impression on
13、me, pr ovide more details and write, A young Latina woman who had been bur ned in a car accident made a lasting impression on me and influenced m y future career goals. Or, if you are writing about a teacher who was in strumental in encouraging you to apply to college, you might write, Mr. Wright, m
14、y high school biology teacher, was the first to suggest that I m ight attend college.Avoid details that are superficial to your point, such as, Mr. Wright, my high school biology teacher, noticed my intense interest in science d uring my sophomore year and took me aside one afternoon to talk with me
15、. He was the first to suggest that I might attend college and encourage d me to take classes in biology, chemistry, physics, and other sciences.6. Include powerful experiences. 专门的个人经历Include personal experiences that will leave the reader with strong im ages, especially ones that have influenced yo
16、ur education or career goals. The experience can be told in several sentences,but it should paint a last ing image. These experiences may be related to a hardship you have over come or an experience that influenced your life. Students have written ab out how living in foster care, caring for a paren
17、t with a serious illness, o r living in a refugee camp contributed to their initiative and changed their attitudes about an issue or group of people. Other students have written about how seeing a young teenager die from AIDS or an elderly patient l earn to speak after having a stroke inspired their
18、 commitment to pursuing a health career.7. Be enthusiastic, but reasonable. 热情，符合情理。Show your enthusiasm, passion or commitment about causes, but be r easoned and logical in your discussions. You may feel strongly about a h uman rights or health care issue, such as the need for guaranteed health car
19、e for all Americans. Discuss your personal views, provide supporting e vidence, and propose how you would address the problem, but do so wit hout preaching.8. Be yourself! 写关于自己的东西Most importantly, be honest and be yourself! Admissions officers wan t to accept students who will be successful at thei
20、r school and contribute to its environment. They want to recruit students from backgrounds who will diversify their student body and if you sound like their type of candi date, then it will be an advantageous situation for both you and the colle ge!9. Review your final version carefully.When you hav
21、e completed the final version of your essay, read it ca refully and ask:Is there a strong introduction that sets the stage for a memorable essay? 当写完了之后，应该看看是否有好的开头Is the topic sentence of each paragraph clear and do the rest of the sen te nces每 段第一句是否清晰 the paragraph support the topic sentence?Are
22、all of my thoughts connected in a logical fashion? 是否有逻辑Is the essay focused and cohesive? 是否比拟集中Does my unique voice come through; does the essay sound like me?Is the grammar correct?Have I done a final spell check on a computer?Have I re-read the final version carefully to be sure the spell check
23、didn 抰 substitute any incorrect words? As a final check, give your essay to an E nglish teacher or someone with a background in grammar and spelling to make sure that you havent made any avoidable mistakes.And, be sure to keep a printed copy of your final version.Specific suggestions about your essa
24、y: 具体建议1. Academic preparation and scholarly experiences.You can use your essay to explain any academic challenges you have faced and why-and thus provide reasons for any low grades. You might mention how you had limited time to focus on school because you were working to contribute to your familys
25、income. Any example such as this should emphasize what you learned from the experience and how you in tend to use this knowledge to help you succeed in college.You can also use your essay to explain any instances where you hav e sought educational opportunities. If your high school had a limited num
26、 ber of advanced college preparatory classes be sure to mention this. Beca use of this, perhaps you were motivated to do independent reading on your own or take classes at your local community college. This shows your initiative and your seriousnessabout your education.2. Life experiences. 个人经历Take
27、time to reflect on your life, identifying some key aspects of yo ur childhood and adolescence, as well as personal challenges you may ha ve overcome. Some students are hesitant to share their personal experienc es, but these are exactly what the admissions committee wants to see. Th e readers are es
28、pecially interested in your experiences becausethey reflect the unique aspects of your life. You might begin by describing obstacles or barriers that you experienced to higher education and then describe h ow these circumstances shaped your future decisions and strengthened you r desire to attend co
29、llege.If you are first in your family to attend college, be sure to mention this, since your path to college has been more challenging and different f rom a student whose parents are college educated.Relate your life experiences to your academic and career goals, as y ou weave your experiences toget
30、her in your essay. For example, did a fa mily hardship make you more resilient or more sensitive to others or lead to your interest in health? Perhaps caring for a young relative who had lung cancer made you aware of the dangers of smoking and led you to write a science report about the promotion of
31、 cigarettes to youth. This co ntributed to your interest in health care policy and selection of a college that offers field experiences, such as those with health advocacy groups.4. Character.Writing about your personal background gives you the chance to shar e aspects of your character that have he
32、lped you through difficult life exp eriences. The episodes you discuss should illustrate positive aspects of yo ur character, such as determination, initiative, compassion, or leadership. P erhaps you suffer from a physical handicap. This has led to a compassion for those with chronic injuries that
33、you pursued by volunteering at a reh abilitation hospital. This solidified your commitment to working with disa bled people as part of your career.5. Humanitarianism/caring experiences.Your essay may mention school and community service, volunteer wo rk, church activities, and any other work you hav
34、e done to demonstrate y our involvement with your school and community. Some examples of hu manitarian efforts include volunteering at a homeless shelter, serving as an interpreter at a local clinic, or helping a teacher start an after school tut oring program for low-income youth. Discuss what you
35、learned from thes e experiences and how youll relate these experiences to your future plans and goals.6. Leadership.Leadership examples can take many forms. It is helpful to show how your leadership evolved and grew stronger during your high school year s. For example, as a Freshman, you may have jo
36、ined the school health cl ub and then been elected to an office as a Sophomore. In your Junior ye ar you may have helped plan and coordinate a health fair that included st udents from several high schools.Leadership does not necessarily have to be significant positions (such as being student body pr
37、esident or a member of an award-winning debat e club). Instead, you may have taken a leadership role in your family, pe er group, church, or neighborhood. Have you cared for your sisters and b rothers when your parents were at work? Have you been a mentor to a y ounger person in your community? Have
38、 you ever organized a group of s tudents to serve meals at a homeless shelter? Were you a member of a s ports team where you led and motivated your teammates? These can all b e great examples of leadership skills.7. Work or volunteer experiences.Do you have any work or volunteer experience related t
39、o the type of career you want to pursue? What did these experiences teach you about yourself? Did the experiences lead to classes or other activities that helpe d you refine your career choice? Perhaps you helped a teacher when he or she organized a series of evening programs for low-income parents.
40、 Th is experience showed you that you enjoy teaching and interacting with pe ople from diverse cultures. Your current interest in counseling, with an e mphasis in reaching undeserved populations, reflects your involvement wit h this program. Or perhaps you completed a science fair project on AIDS an
41、d this motivated you to volunteer with an AIDS outreach group at yo ur local community clinic. From this work, you learned about the high ra tes of HIV infection among homeless youth. You now hope to take colle ge classes on infectious diseasesand social problems to help you decide i f you are inter
42、ested in a career in social work.8. Vision.Do you have a sense of what you 抎 like to do in the future? What is your vision regarding your further academic training or your career go al? Explaining your goals in your essay can be a way for you to convinc e an admissions committee why their school is
43、the right place for you. F or example, if you want to major in science and eventually become a do ctor, you should mention that you are interested in a college that has a st rong science department and community clinical opportunities. Knowing w hat a school has to offer can be a way to show that yo
44、u are a serious c andidate who has done your homework. Your vision may be relatively ge neral, which is fine. For example, you may know that you want to beco me a doctor, but it is unlikely that you would know your specialty. Just r emember to explain how past experiences influenced your interests a
45、nd go als.9. Influential people. 在谈及个人目标时，谈谈对你有阻碍的When you write about your career goals, you might want to mention a pivotal person or experience that influenced your interest in higher edu cation or a particular career. Perhaps you worked at a local pharmacy and the pharmacist learned that you wil
46、l be the first in your family to attend college. He or she became your mentor and advised you about classes t o take and how to apply for local scholarships. A person who was influe ntial in your goals for higher education does not necessarily have to be s omeone who is close to you or with whom you
47、 had a lot of contact. For example, when I was young, I helped my dad at his night job as a jani tor. We cleaned a county building where there were law offices. One nigh t a judge, whose desk I always polished, took me aside and talked to me about higher education. The influence from a man of his st
48、ature was sig nificant. He made me realize that the world of ideas was accessible to m e and motivated me to take college preparatory classes while in high sch ool.10. Interest in a specific college and your potential contributions.Finally, you may want to conclude your essay with a statement or t w
49、o that reflect your knowledge of the college where you are applying, an d potential contributions you may make to the college. If you selected a college because of its strong emphasis on the sciences and its volunteer o pportunities with local underserved communities you might write, I am particularly interested in your school because and believe I will be an asset because This statement shows that you are familiar with the streng