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1、新东方 托福写作强化课堂,主讲人：廖歆,师傅领进门，自虐靠个人,我的课的三个宗旨： 面向考试、提高成绩、求真务实,过去我们总是,翻译,国内的考试题,假设你是李华，作为选派的交流生在美国某中学学习了一年，寄住在Mr.Brown家里，刚回到国内，给他写了一封信，内容为 帮助寄回忘带回的字典； 感谢在美国期间他所提供的帮助； 邀请他到中国旅游。 要求字数不少于80字,写作是表达而不是翻译,过去的人冬天没有暖气，出门见不到汽车，连吃肉都困难，哪有什么幸福可言？,怎么表达比较好？,过去的人冬天没有暖气，出门见不到汽车，连吃肉都困难，哪有什么幸福可言？ 过去的人们感觉不幸福，因为没有暖气，他们在冬天会感觉
2、到寒冷；没有汽车，难以到达远方；很难找到肉吃，没有营养。,过去的人们感觉不幸福，因为没有暖气，他们在冬天会感觉到寒冷；没有汽车，难以到达远方；很难找到肉吃，没有营养。 People in the past didnt feel happy. They felt cold without radiators; they found it hard to reach remote places without automobiles; they were malnourished without meat on their tables.,是这样翻译的,过去的人冬天没有暖气，出门见不到汽车，连吃肉
3、都困难，哪有什么幸福可言？ over the past were no heating in winter, out did not see a car, and even meat are difficult, so how happy is that?,可怕的学生直译,过去的人冬天没有暖气，出门见不到汽车，连吃肉都困难，哪有什么幸福可言？ The past people in winter do not have heating gas, can see car exit door, where have what happiness can say?,表达下面这句话,出国留学可以学习知识
4、，增强阅历，为未来打下基础！ gain, obtain, acquire, increase, develop, accumulate,出国留学帮助我们积累知识，获得新的经验，为未来做准备。 Studying abroad helps us accumulate knowledge, gain new experience and prepare ourselves for the future.,通过出国留学，我们积累了知识，获得了新的经验，为未来做了准备。 By studying abroad, we accumulate knowledge, gain new experience an
5、d prepare ourselves for the future.,prepare concern excite disappoint frustrate,表达下面这句话,越来越多的孩子患有网瘾，分数下降得厉害，身心健康也受到危害。,More and more children become addicted to the internet, resulting in falling grades and poor physical and mental condition. More and more children spend too much time on surfing on
6、line. As a result, they are no longer willing to spend their time on study and sports.,表达下面这句话,学习艺术可以陶冶情操,Appreciating arts and music is a character education. Appreciating arts and music helps students mold and shape their characters. Appreciating arts and music teaches values and virtues.,写作是表达而不是
7、翻译 无处不在,坏电影害人； 孩子们受够了坏电影； 孩子们饱受坏电影之苦； 烂片大行其道，孩子不堪其扰； 坏电影让孩子生活在水深火热之中 suffer,Children suffer from bad movies. Children suffer a lot from those improper movies. Children suffer a lot from the flood/inundation of improper movies.,考砸了，我想死的心都有了； I suffer a lot from the low grade in my last exam; 你这馊主意会害人
8、不浅； People will suffer a lot from your bad idea. 你磨磨唧唧的，搞死我了都； I suffer a lot from your delayed decision.,倩女幽魂 Beautiful girl, lingering soul. A Chinese Ghost Story 满城尽带黄金甲 The city is full of golden armor. The curse of golden flower.,十面埋伏 Ten face ambush The house of flying dagger 仙剑奇侠传 Immortal sw
9、ord and strange hero legend The legend of the swordman,How to train a dragon? 怎样训练一只龙呢？ 驯龙高手 We do chicken right! 我们 烹鸡美味，尽在肯德基！,句子的三种训练方法,多种方法表达同一句意； 扩充丰富已有句型； 对句式进行各种变换。,我认为，我同意这个观点：勤奋才能成功。,I think I agree with the idea: I will succeed if I work hard.,用高级词汇替换低级词汇,I insist that I support the announ
10、cement: I will succeed if I spare no effort for working.,添加副词和形容词,I unavoidably insist that I strongly support the classical announcement: I will definitely succeed if I spare no effort for working.,找出潜在的逻辑关系,I unavoidably insist that based on my personal experiences and education, I strongly suppor
11、t the classical announcement: final success results from hard work.,去掉累赘，变成地道又简略的表达,Based on my personal experiences and educational background, I strongly support the classical saying: final success comes from continual hard work.,I think I agree with the idea: I will succeed if I work hard. Based
12、on my personal experiences and educational background, I strongly support the classical saying: final success comes from continual hard work.,学生最常犯错误,拼写错误,effecient; televition; seperate; listenning; Infomation; newpapers;,aginst; satelite; comminute; indispensible; programmme; changable,低级语法错误,all
13、people is fond of seeing tv; he buy a newspaper in the way home; as far as I am concerned, in my opinion, undoubtedly, I believe television is better. The first reason I have putted forward is that by watch tv, we know there are so many events,语法错误,There are three evidences support my opinion. Big c
14、ompany is good for people. Because they can learn more knowledge. Dinosaurs have extincted.,不断句,Take the experiences of my grandmother as an example, (断句) she is extremely interested in news and curious about the events happened every day, (断句) she love sports,A great amount of people concern the ad
15、vantage brought by building a factory, establishing a new school and environment protection, therefore, they may ignore some possibly defect, which including the heavy fiscal burden. Despite of that they find the drawback, I believe we should learn some knowledge from most of the book given by Docto
16、r King in order to eliminating the negative influential.,托福写作：两种题型，两种分值,Integrated Writing 综合写作 Independent Writing 独立写作 Raw Score 原始分值 ：05分 Scaled Score 最终分值 ：030分,分值换算,Percentile Rank,我们的目标是,综合写作3分以上 独立写作5分,托福写作基本知识,字数要多少？ 400左右 需不需要写标题？ 不需要 作文如何分段？ 缩行式与空行式 标点符号后面是否需要空格？ 要空格,托福写作基本知识,英式英语还是美式英语？ c
17、olo(u)r, program(me), labo(u)r 书面语还是口语？ 当然是书面语 BTW，U dunno， &， 4u 2B or not 2B, thats a ?,为什么要考托福？ 什么样的学校承认托福成绩？,与大家共勉,Today you do the things people wont do, tomorrow you will do the things people cant do!,推荐书目,TPO OG, Deltas Key, Kaplan, Barron, Princeton 词汇： 俞敏洪 TOEFL词汇：词根+联想记忆法 张洪伟、戴云 托福10000词 语
18、法： 戴云 托福语法满分精要 张道真 实用英语语法 写作：托福写作圣经,推荐网站,辛达机经网 留留学网站 太傻、寄托天下等 新东方批改网,独立写作5分标准,Effectively addresses the topic and task Well organized and well developed Appropriate explanations, exemplifications and details Unity, progression and coherence Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demons
19、trating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice and idiomaticity. Minor lexical or grammatical errors,托福作文4分标准,Though some points may not be fully elaborated Generally well and well Though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections Occasional noticeable minor,托福作文3分标
20、准,Somewhat developed explanations Though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured Lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning Accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary,托福作文2分标准,Limited development in response to the topic and task; Inadequate organization or conn
21、ection of ideas; Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations, or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task; A noticeably inappropriate choice of words or word forms; An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage.,托福作文1分标准,Serious disorga
22、nization or underdevelopment; Little or no detail, or irrelevant specific, or questionable responsiveness to the task; Serious and frequent errors in sentence structure or usage.,托福作文0分标准,Merely copies words from the topic, rejects the topic, or is otherwise not connected to the topic, is written in
23、 a foreign language, consists of keystroke characters, or is blank.,独立写作目标,没有蛀牙,独立写作圣经,考查题目一定有争议，难抉择； 写作的第一要务是把观点表达清楚； 写作考试不基于考生的真实身份； 写作考试只考察语言水平，不考察思想水平； 写作是表达而不是翻译；,独立写作圣经,写作考试不同于平时写作； 观点的层次比观点的数目更重要； 写作考试不测试学生的真实想法； 逻辑错误比语法错误严重； 跑题者，打酱油也。,托福写作十六字箴言,严谨靠谱，高分得主； 随意没谱，前途未卜。,托福写作题型分类,分类方式1,比较对比 moret
24、han, asas 观点选择 Which would you prefer 自主定义,比较对比题目举例,People can benefit more from traveling in their own country than traveling in foreign countries. 在国内旅行比去国外旅行能给人们带来更多的好处。,比较对比题目举例,It is better to use our personal knowledge and experience to solve problems, rather than asking other people for advic
25、e. 用个人经验和知识解决问题比征求别人意见要好。,观点选择类,People should not be permitted to use mobile phones on public transportation vehicles, such as buses, trains, or aero planes. 在公共交通工具上使用手机应该不被允许。,观点选择类,Some people prefer to work with others. Others prefer to work alone. Which way would you prefer? 单打独斗还是与人共事？,自主定义,If
26、 you could invent some thing new, what product would you develop? “Time light machine” Timing machine Time Machine “Shiguangji”a machine that can bring us back to a certain historic period.,分类方式2,单一事物利弊,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not be permitted to use mobi
27、le phones on public transportation vehicles, such as buses, trains, or aero planes. 能否在公共交通工具上使用手机？,多事物利弊,Some people prefer to finish a project completely before starting another. Others prefer to do two or several projects at the same time. Which way would you prefer? 完成一件事再做另一件事，还是同时做好多件事？,事实类,Do
28、 agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make the product seem much better than it really is. 大多数广告让产品看起来比他们实际要好吗？,预测类,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People will spend more time on cooking in the future. 在未来人们会花更多时间做饭吗？,托福作文 容易跑题 更容易写得不严谨,审题1,Do yo
29、u agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers for their children. 父母是最好的老师吗？,审题2,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. 是否应该从不独自做重要决定？,审题3,Some people say that physical exercise should be a requ
30、ired part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? 是每天都运动还是整天只学习？,审题4,Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? 每天做作业是否必要？,审题5
31、,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To truly understand any events happened in the world, we should draw our news from newspapers; television cannot provide enough information. 电视不能提供足够的信息让我们真正了解世间之事，让我们应该看报纸吗？,审题6,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who
32、 do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy. 有钱又不工作的人快乐吗？,审题7,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents find it hard to control their children for the children are now influenced by many things outside home like television or movies. 家长们发现孩子难管是因为孩子们现在受到太多家庭以外事物的
33、影响，比如电视和电影。,审题8,Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus its budgets more on art museums and concert halls than recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds. 政府应该花更多的钱在艺术馆音乐厅而不是在休闲场所比如游泳池和操场吗？,破题办法,牢牢抓住绝对词与细节词； 牢牢抓住争论焦点。 写作过程中不断提及限定条件，这些限定条件是绝
34、对词和细节词。,万金由,便健经交幸，成环品科国,便利 (convenience),节省时间 (Saving time) 时间灵活 (flexible) 交通 (traffic) 休闲 (recreation) 娱乐 (entertainment/relaxation) 健身 (fitness activity) 购物 (shopping) 教育 (education) 医疗 (medical care),健康和安全 (Health/Fitness and Safety),营养 (nutrition) 缓解压力 (relieve the stress/pressure) 食品安全 (food s
35、afety) 生活习惯 (living style) 体育锻炼 (sports/exercise/games) 身体伤害 (body injury) 财产安全 (property safety),经济 (economy/economical/economic),就业问题 (unemployment/employment) 职业 (occupation) 农业 (agriculture) 工业 (industry) 工资 (wage/salary) 收入 (income) 支出 (spending/expenditure/expense) 利润 (profit) 税收 (tax/tariff)
36、旅游 (tourism/journey/traveling),交流 (communication),交友 (making friends) 集体活动 (collective activity) 人际关系 (interpersonal relationship) 社交圈子 (social circle),幸福与情感 (Happiness/Love/Affection),激情 (passion/enthusiasm) 兴趣 (interests) 亲情 (family love) 友情 (friendship) 爱情 (love) 乐趣 (fun/happiness) 好恶(personal ch
37、oice/favor/preference/taste),成功 (success),成就感 (a sense of achievement) 荣誉感 (a sense of honor) 财富 (wealth) 自信 (self-confidence) 竞争 (competition) 潜力 (potentiality) 动力 (motivation) 压力 (pressure/stress),环保 (environmental protection),生态平衡 (ecological balance/eco-balance) 沙漠化 (desertification) 砍伐森林 (defor
38、estation) 沙尘暴 (sand storm) 干旱 (drought) 洪水 (flood) 濒危动物 (endangered animals) 环境污染 (environmental pollution),品格 (virtue),聪明 (clever/brilliant) 合作 (cooperation/collaboration) 坚忍不拔 (perseverance/tenacity/persistency) 勤奋 (industrious/diligence) 独立 (independence) 负责任 (be responsible to) 宽容 (tolerant/forg
39、iving) 体贴 (considerate) 谦虚 (modest) 诚实 (honesty/integrity),科技、教育与培训(science/education/training),科技的发展发明(Scientific development and inventions/innovation) 效率 (efficient) 实习 (intern/internship) 教育(education),国家与文明 (nation and civilization),爱国情怀 (patriotism) 国家凝聚力 (a nations cohesion) 思乡病/思乡情结 (nostalg
40、ia/homesickness) 慈善事业 (charity/philanthrope) 社会稳定 (social stability) 政府声誉 (A governments reputation) 社会福利 (social welfare) 社会公平 (social justice),万金由,便健经交幸，成环品科国,拆分举例,拆分举例通常用在比较抽象的题目中 判断方法一：题目中出现了定义不明确的概念，比如happiness, success, too much等等； 判断方法二：题目的范围比万金由某一个分项更为狭窄； 考场上我们的原则是：万金由解不了就拆！,要创新吗？,创新意味着提高难度
41、问房子里哪间房最重要？ 厕所 杂物房 车库 花房 狗房 鸟舍,观点选择三大禁忌,观点不宜过于恶俗； 观点不宜过于高尚； 观点不宜涉及政治、宗教等敏感话题,文章结构,4/5/6段都可以 开头结尾各一段，必须独立成段； 中间可以写2/3/4段,论证结构,绝对论证/“一边倒”论证 让步论证 折中方案/depend on,绝对论证/一边倒结构,中间倒3段： 支持方的3个优点详写，比重相当； 支持方的2个优点详写，反对方的1个缺点稍略写； 中间倒2段：支持方的2个优点详细论证，比重相当。 学生是否应该穿校服？,让步结构,中间3段：支持方2个优点详细写，反对方1-2个优点简略写。 打工还是创业？,折中方案
42、,高薪工作时间长还是低薪工作时间短？ 住大城市还是住小镇？ 住校内还是住校外？ 跟导游玩还是自己玩？ 买房子还是买企业？,折中方案/depend on,depend on what? “人阶目年(人皆暮年)”不同的人群，不同的阶段，不同的目的，不同的年龄； 住大城市还是住小镇？ 住校内还是住校外？ 高薪工作时间长还是低薪工作时间短？ 跟导游玩还是自己玩？,我推荐哪种方案？,让步 一边倒3段 一边倒2段 折中 一边倒1段,让步结构的好处,避免了写支持面第三个观点，转而写不利于支持方的一个理由； 显得考虑问题比较周全； 对方比较容易接受； 展示更多的语言能力。,让步的方法,用不利于己方的观点进行让
43、步； 单一事物让步 多事物让步 程度让步（去绝对化）,人称的使用,论证说理部分使用第三人称； 表达个人观点，谈个人经历时用第一人称； 尽量使用复数形式的第三人称，避免犯第三人称单数错误； 不要使用第二人称。,详细提纲,总论点 分论点 子论点（支持句，解释句） 例子,中间段落展开方法,中间段落三个特点,容易写跑题； 花费大量时间； 由于没有模板或者固定句型积累，出现大量逻辑、语法、词汇等错误；,中间段落主题句的要求 topic sentence,主题句要求1,必须是陈述句； Isnt it better for us to choose a foreign university?,主题句要求2,
44、必须表明观点 任何事实，必加推论，将结论置于段首。 女孩子穿着性感 男孩子挥金如土,主题句要求3,态度要坚决 In my humble opinion Im not sure about this, but I still want to say,主题句要求4,主题句简短有力 The first reason I want to put forward at the very beginning should be considered as 每段都有主题句，接着对主题句进行展开,主题句要求5,主题句必须能够统领全段； 读完主题句读者应该能够掌握本段内容； 段落展开其实是对主题句进行展开。,主
45、题句要求6,若干主题句之间要平行； 包含不行； 因果不行。,四大段落展开方法,例证法； 比较法； 因果法； 拆分法。,例证法,例证法是万法之母； 提出论点列举例证给出细节得出结论（重复论点） 注意时态和人称 我们的口号是：一切皆可举，无所不能举。,举例当中的六个“一样样儿”,一例与多例一样样儿 物例、事例与数例一样样儿 真例与假例一样样儿 本人例子和别人例子一样样儿 中国例子与外国例子一样样儿 名人例子与普通人例子一样样儿,三种例子,事例 物例 数例 数例法后可以紧跟物例法和事例法； 物例法后跟一个事例法。,每一段的要求,每个论点后面都可以有理由； 每个理由后面都必须有例子； 每个例子后面都必
46、须有细节； 每个细节后面都必须有推论。 我认为因为我觉得比如你看所以我才认为嘛,一例法与多例法,一例法深入挖掘细节； 多例法平行给出细节。 两种模式 我认为因为我觉得比如说你看你再看你接着看你继续看所以我才认为嘛 我认为因为我觉得比如说你看又比如说你看再比如说你看所以我才认为嘛,例证法三大口号,一切皆可举，无所不能举； 凡是事实，必加推论； 要事实，更要雄辩。,科学技术给我带来了什么？,科学技术给人类带来了许多方便 比如：微波炉、电冰箱、手机、电脑、汽车等 细节：用微波炉烹饪食物又快又卫生；冰箱节约我们每天去买菜的时间；手机使得人们更高效的通讯和处理事务；电脑使我们联络亲朋好友更方便，可以了解
47、到最新的信息；汽车给我们的旅行带来方便和安全。 总结：科学技术给人类带来了许多方便,拿着笔读范文,在讲义里标注精彩词句； 适当的把精彩词句记录下来，反复阅读，甚至背诵； 用这些精彩句型自己造句，运用娴熟，以至于每次写文章都能想到用上，这才是英语中的文思泉涌。 只有读得细，范文才有意义。,优秀句型和词汇收集举例,Benefit enormously from从某事中得到好处； 造句1：Inhabitants in our community will benefit a lot/enormously from the establishment of a new factory/school/h
48、ospital. 造句2：Businessmen definitely benefit a lot from dressing the uniforms.,优秀句型和词汇收集举例,Life abounds with such examples.生活中大量存在这样的例子。 造句1：Forest abounds with various kinds of trees. 造句2：New oriental school abounds with so many outstanding lecturers.,科学技术给我带来了什么？,卫星给我们的生活带来了方便 卫星给我们的通讯带来了方便； 卫星给我们探
49、索外太空带来了方便； 有了卫星，我们就有了GPS（Global Positioning System ）。,中间段落之比较法,比较是万法之母； 提出论点列举例证给出细节列举反例给出细节得出结论（重复论点） 我们的两个要求是： 每个比较比较必给双方的细节； 每个比较必有推论。 我们的口号是：一切皆可比,无所不能比。,比较法,一种模式 我认为因为我觉得比如说你看相比之下又比如说你看所以我才认为嘛,整体比较,在校内住好还是在校外住好？ 住校内的好处有：1、2、3 住校外的好处有：4、5、6 总体看来，还是觉得1、2、3比4、5、6好，这是因为，所以住校内好 特点：整体感强，比较感弱,分项比较,在校内住好还是在校外住好？ 在校内住好，是因为 住校内可以实现1，而住校外不是1而是4，且1比4好； 住校内可以实现2，而住校外不是2而是5，且2比5好； 住校内可以实现3，而住校外不是3而是6，且3比6好； 比较看来，在校内住确实很好耶！,住校内好还是住校外好？,中间段落之因果法,因果